I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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