you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
