No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
