i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
