i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
