508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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