At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
