forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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