eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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