He disabled his match.com account in front of me
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
is wine microwaveable?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
