I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
