why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
