My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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