Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
