Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
