it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
