I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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