Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
