There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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