Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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