its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
