WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
