I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
