how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Houston, we have a blender
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
