my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
