I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
