When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My feet surprised me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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