Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
we should paint friendship bongs
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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