I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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