I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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