I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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