everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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