you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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