thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
