we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
