my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
