I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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