Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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