I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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