Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize