Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
What a dumb baby whore.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
