Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
