dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Banned from zoo.
Again?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
