Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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