I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you traded sex for a burrito?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
