WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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