have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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