AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
