Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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