I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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