You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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