We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
are you so shy because you have an std?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My pussy is not your playground.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
