i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
