need another drink. this is the easiest way
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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