And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
