I want to have your abortion
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
