.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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