his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
