2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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