can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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