no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
