im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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