Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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