Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How does it feel to date your dad?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize