I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
