You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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