How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't deserve a penis
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
