dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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