You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
